tropical_hermit ([info]tropical_hermit) wrote,
@ 2009-06-04 01:34:00
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morality
adrian came home tonight disheveled....  said he was 'mugged' by some 16 year olds...  attempted mugging, i should say....

they accosted him ,followed him and then he reacted in violence.  came home and fretted that he hurt another.

my reaction:

'i would've killed 'em'

if it were me, and they attacked me in any way, i would've defended myself to the best of my abililty and if it means they got hurt...  

they would've gotten hurt.

i don't have anything else to say.  he did what i would want him to do...  protect himself!  in the future, he should take precautions:  ride his bike instead of walking...  but, if it were me...  what would he want me to do?  

the only thing he did...

protect himself.

and i would not think on it again.  when the police come and i'm covered in blood...  i would tell them what happened.  but, i'm not going to give my life to some 16-year olds who want some drug money easily.  no.

i'll flee.  and if i can't flee.  i'll fight.  as i would expect ANY able body to do.  he was upset that he went further than he needed to...  some delayed reaction from getting viciously mugged in jax beach.  where the guys beat his head into the curb and broke his front teeth with a gun.  so, i suggested counseling for that...  but still.  he did the right thing.  what are you supposed to do when you're accosed with physical violence?  protect yourself!  he had 3 fucking dollars with him.  do you think they would've believed that before they  beat him silly?  i don't.

and i don't think this is a violent place to live.  i don't.  but, like in ALL places...  one needs to take precautions.  if you look drunk, walking down the street alone at night...  you might figure you're a walking duck.  just saying...  be smart, yall.  get a cab, ride a bike, get a ride.  whatever...  just don't be stupid.  i guess, being a female...  i have a wholly differen perspective.  i've been taught, my whole life, to avoid situations like he encountered.  i walk with my key sticking out of my fist...  ALWAYS, at night...  i've lived in orlando and tampa and think even though jacksonville has the highest murder count...  i know crime.  

i was almost carjacked TWICE in orlando.   i had a group of guys surround my car, one jumped on top while another slid his bike under my tires...  we used to listen to the cops shooting back at whoever in tampa almost every night.  my cars had almost no paint on the interior from the amount of prying by chisels or whathaveyou to get in...   i am a defensive, crazy ass short b*tch.

i will attack and let the details fall into line after the fact.  because i KNOW it's the best course of action for ME.   but, i would avoid the situation he encountered tonight.  i would not have beeb walking by myself, buzzed, after midnight.  but, i'm a woman.   i think it's good advice for anyone.  even if there's only 12,000 people who live in your town.

but who am i talking to?  :)  i am going to get some little mace can for my keys though.  it always helps to have the leg up.  i guess  this is my lj public service announcement to alert everyone to take care and stay alert.

just don't put yourself in a situtation where you wouldn't put someone you love.

that's a great thought in all things!  :)

much love
 

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[info]lesser_cause
2009-06-04 02:41 pm UTC (link)
Aww I'm sorry that he was attacked! =(
I've never been in any situations where I was in danger, mainly because I am am very cautious. I think that you are right, women are taught to always be more careful.

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[info]tropical_hermit
2009-06-04 06:02 pm UTC (link)
yeah, i definitely think we can do alot to avoid danger. but, sometimes, it does come to us without asking permission. and i'm just glad that he escaped unscathed. and i don't feel guilty that i don't feel bad about what he had to do.

i am, however, disconcerted with the violence in my little teeny town. i'm all for diversity but i think this was gang related and gangs just f*cking suck the lifeforce from the community, you know?

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[info]cinnamoncanary
2009-06-04 04:31 pm UTC (link)
How awful.

You know Kel, I get so sad sometimes when I think what was had in Sweden. Crime was low, living was luxury, the economy etc - you understand, I know.

It's a sad fucking state when you cannot even walk home safely. I attribute it to the American condition. It's gonna get worse before it gets better - maybe in a year some improvement but not really...it's a mentality you know. It starts with our kids. Those kids lacked a conscience - thank you mother and father, schools, media...you get the picture.

You know, I have this internal button, the "Don't fuck with me or else" button. I guess had it been me, someone would probably would have been dead or I would have. You see, the more someone causes me pain, the shittier and more angry I get. It's just what it is. Like you, I would have been covered in blood and told my story.

Three bucks. That's all. Drugs, what for. Why not be okay with little to live on and happy to be alive. All people want is more more more, kill anyone for it at any cost.

Fuck.

I'm sorry for him and you, I hope he is emotionally okay.

*tight hugs*

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[info]tropical_hermit
2009-06-04 05:59 pm UTC (link)
thanks for your words marni! :) it helps to make some sense where there isn't any, you know?

he said one guy had a toothbrush behind his ear (sharpened to a point at the handle) and he took it out and started brushing his teeth as he asked adrian if he wanted to buy some xanax. when he said, 'no' and kept walking they followed him closely and that's when he reacted. that toothbrush thing is really weird.

i tend to think it's gang related. adrian's grandmother had told us to be really careful because it was gang initiation time... meaning- they give the perspective members a specific type of person to hurt/kill eg old lady, young lady, african-american, etc. so, maybe he just fit the bill.

regardless... defensive living can do alot to ward off these kinds of things, you know?

and yeah, he felt really bad about hurting them. but, just like you... there's a line, and once you have to defend yourself it's not easy to turn it on and off... it's survival. so... i wonder what jesus would do in this day and age. i wonder if he isn't killed over and over on the streets of america every day, giving his cheek to the fist/gun, refusing to fight back... it's hard to teach morality in a country raised by tv and policed by businessmen.

best of thoughts to you! :) much love

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[info]psikodelia
2009-06-04 08:04 pm UTC (link)
An entirely appropriate response to frightening circumstances.

Tell him I said so. He'll know it must be true. ;)





I'm glad to see your wedding plans are coming along swimmingly. Sounds like your dress was meant to be. Good luck and much love to the both of you.

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[info]tropical_hermit
2009-06-04 09:31 pm UTC (link)
i think he did the 'right' thing. i do! and i'll tell him you do too! :D

yeah, the wedding dress is perfect. i'm not sure about how hot i'll be out there. i was thinking to tape bags of frozen peas to my thighs.

whatcha think? :) i'm totally serious! there's soo much dress no one'll know... but, i'll have that stupid, 'awwwww', look instead of 'ohmigod, i'm going to pass out' look :D

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[info]obverse_reverse
2009-06-05 01:30 am UTC (link)
This entry gave me chills. Thinking of anyone I love coming home like that is more frightening than the thought of it happening to me I think.

I was mugged once, but froze. Not much I could do with a broken bottle to my throat -- and I had less than five bucks too.

I totally I agree with you about taking precautions, but sometimes shit just happens. He's fortunate to have you for support, I'm sure it stirred up things from his past mugging as you said. Man, life..

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[info]tropical_hermit
2009-06-13 06:01 am UTC (link)
sorry for the delay...

crime bites! i agree!

the issue quickly became (after the initial 'other' issues) freedom v fear...
do we give up our right to walk down the street because of fear of crime? is that the answer even if it might result in short-termed safety?

but, when you're talking about a family member or dear friend what's all that philosophic b*llsh*t? you know? loss is loss and fear of loss can be much stronger than 'ideas'...

but maybe that's short-termed thinking. hard to balance my head n heart in this.

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[info]obverse_reverse
2009-06-14 01:31 am UTC (link)
I think you're completely right -- when it hasn't happened to you or someone you love, you can think about it more abstractly. It's easy to intellectualize something you don't have to feel personally.

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