transition
 the transition from the honeymoon has been stressful.  i had meant to update with an entry about the reception while my memory was fresh and the honeymoon.  and maybe i will...  but right now, venting is prolly healthier!  we came home and instantly things began to challenge us:  my husband came down with ringoworm!  something he MUST have picked up on our travels...  my guess is from a hotel jacuzzi i didn't go in...  the night of the wedding...  i was so stressed out i didn't eat much, drank a bunch, laughed, smiled, hugged and then passed OUT!  did i mention all the parsely in the world didn't work?!  not until, well... the ceremony?!  (if that doesn't make sense to you...  well, it won't)

the honeymoon was amazing!  we got so close in a completely different way.  we went to the smokies and did family fun kind of things and were exhausted at the end of the day.  we rented a car and did all things we would want to do if we could.  and now, i realize that's the plan...  make it happen:  do what you want if you could; everything in between is a lie.

so, we come home.  decide we want to move to tn.  adrian gets ringworm, we're separated at night because of it, and we're newlyweds...  this is stressful even though we've lived together for a few years...  we're close and yet so far away.  

and then, he calls me today from work and says that his best friend's dad died.  a guy who was a mentor to him, and i knew who he was and all he represented to him.  and i heard him cry and i cried...   it's really a tragic situation i don't wish to disclose or perpetuate.  

today was a hard day.  

it was harder for adrian than for myself...  but, i woke up and knew it sucked.  i could feel it and made it so in my early moments.  and then, when the 'sh*t hit the fan' and put me in my place in relation to the Universe and i felt like the *ss i can be...  

i realized several times throughout the day:  i want to live outside of society.

i want to feel nature and the freedom within.  i want to breathe with the birds and sing with the valleys.  sitting outside the cabin, on the porch, the silence enveloped me...  and i felt, that maybe for the first time...  i could hear myself.

i watched a show tonight '30 days'.  he spends 30 days in all sorts of different lifestyles.  1 i saw he was in a prison for 30 days.  the next, a coal miner.   in that show, i watched the coal mining companies blow off the mountain tops of w. virginia in something called open pit mining.  i KNEW about open pit mining.  but, i never understood it from a real perspective.  

we just came back from that mountain range...  albeit, a protected area.  i sat on my couch and watch them blow the tops of our mountains and became INSTANTLY OUTRAGED!!!  how can we let them blow our mountains to shreds?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  the 30 days guy said he watched it and was about to cry.  how could you NOT?!  

coal is NOT THE WAVE OF THE FUTURE!  granted, these people need jobs.  but it doesn't have to be in coal.  if everyone/anyone could take a minute and wish/vibe/brainstorm/suggest a BETTER/GRANDER alternative PLEASE make your way to my journal to be heard.

i have to live outside of society because i don't believe in it.  i don't belive in the poisoning of rivers, oceans and streams and the raping and bombing of countryside and peaks to supply energy for playstations or livejournal typing.   our goal is to be in the cabin and be equip it with renewable energies by 7 months of living there.  and if that doesn't happen...  

well, my wedding reception was a great initiation to public life...   :)  [read a gadillion 3-minute conversations]  i'll make it happen